Pessimistic

Have you ever been so pessimistic? Gak inget waktu jaman sekolah yang pasti once in college, once in early 2011 and now hehehe. It does not mean I am not grateful, I am grateful. Kemarin sempet ngeliat album foto di facebook, what I have accomplished so far in age almost 28 :p. Ya lumayan lah, kalau ngebandingin ke atas yaaaa hehehe, harus buat pemicu semangat tapi liat juga ke bawah that I am the person who should be more grateful. Meski belum pernah ke LN, soon amin, ya paspor udah di tangan sih hehe, at least membuka jalan *apa coba. Lumayan lah pernah ke Bali 2 kali, liburan ke Belitung pas kebeneran ada temen disana. Pernah naik pesawat gitu ya hehe, well my life is not as fab as others yang udah jalan-jalan ke Hongkong, sering ke Singapore *even kalau buat gw mending sekali aja kecuali dapet gretongan ya hehe, dan lain sebagainya.
 
 
Yang lainnya, hmm nonton konser international kaya mr. big, the cranberries and the famous maroon 5 hehe. Lumayan lah itu koceknya. Yang lain mungkin tiap ada konser ditonton ya, gw baru 4 aja. Daripada kaga :p. Worked in various company, it's great and supporting live alone for 3 years. It's even great, I think it sad buat orang yang selalu hidup dengan orang tuanya, ya mungkin ortunya ngelarang tapi mereka gak ngerasain survival saat hidup sendiri. Kalau kawin beda lagi, udah ada suami yang support. Nah yang mau gw curcolin sekarang, now I'm working in bla bla company *sensor, pokonya under the same roof as Bu Sri Mulyani ahaha *gaya. Tapi ya biasa aja ko, posisinya admin GA, salary nya juga standar, kerjaannya juga gak terlalu hectic banget ternyata, assist dan support manager yang menunggu orderan beliau hehehe. I actually really really want to finish until end of year *almost lah. Tapiiii bawaan bebi ini sungguh ya, cape juga. Since pregnant, selow motion banget deh kaya di pulau hehehe. Lemes, no energy, less passion. Balik kantor langsung pingsan, mandi solat bersiin make up lalu tidur *hoahemmm. Apalagi kalau udah menjelang weekend, low battery kalau hp mah. I actually want to take work off, so tired but since hubby still have to finish his thing *eventually I have to pour this feeling hehehe. Jadi lah galau. November sih fixed Bandung, since plan to have a baby is around January *amin jadi between nov-dec find obgyn and suitable hospital to get birth. Sebenernya sih pilihannya di Al-Islam karena full covered tapi pengen liat juga option lain. However kalau bisa pengen pindah Bandung besok *halah. I have a friend, we used to get work together, she has a tutoring place and I wanna join with her. Jadi masih ada kegiatan until end of the year.

It sounds that I gave up again, tapi beneran deh physically kayanya so so tired and exhausted to get through this. Cerita dikit soal pregnancy, yup mual and its not morning sickness but all day long sickness hehe, mual sepanjang hari tapi alhamdulilahnya, masih bisa ter-distract, dengan minuman segar, coklat, yg asem pedes atau makan lagi hehehe. So far makan gak masalah, gak kaya kaka ipar gw yang susah masuk makan dan temen gw yang cuma bisa makan buah dan sayur doang. Gw sih masih bisa makan even porsinya setengah gak serewog dulu hehehe. Cuma emang totally lost appetite sama namanya buryam dan cappuccino *sekarang mendingan, padahal dulu sore aja bisa makan buryam. Mood swing juga are pretty bad hehe yang kena imbas tentu si mas tersayang *maaf yaaaa hehehe.

Anyway, gw kangen banget gawe di bank lama itu, suasana kekeluargaan yang bener-bener mantap even kerjaan pusing tapi gw semangat. Since di kodok and now, its totally different, entah emang sebenernya suasana kantoran "beneran" di Jakarta itu kaya begini, soalnya waktu di kelapa gading kan gw gawe di sekolahan. Semua orang kaya perlu dikursusin "bagaimana cara beramah tamah" hahaha. Work environment tuh penting banget ya, makanya I wanna stay in Bandung yang hospitality nya gak se-empet Jakarta kali ya.

ffff just wish us luck always, amin.

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